“Do you think my ass is fat?” Albeit this is a dumbass question some women ask their men, but it does get asked, and I know you guys are all sorts of scared by it. You probably have absolutely no idea how to respond!
Either her ass isn’t fat, or it is, or maybe it’s just got a little extra umph, but it doesn’t matter. Even if her ass is super tiny, you can’t tell her that. Why? Because the question, as posed, means that she feels, at least in that moment, as though her ass is fat, and she’s not looking for confirmation that it’s not; she’s looking for condemnation that it is!
This is Cognitive Behaviorism 101, guys. You ask: but, Ms. Bowles, what do I say, what do I say? Well, I’ll tell you.
You look at your woman right in the eyes and grab her ass. Don’t gently touch her and be all lovey. You grab that ass like you own it, and you say, “I love your fucking ass, and I’d love to fuck you right now!”
Then you kiss her before she has a chance to say anything else, and you kiss her with as much passion as your Good Man Heart can muster while gripping her ass and pulling her toward you. And you do this because you mean it; because you love your woman and are attracted to her beyond all reason, as you should be!
If this doesn’t work most of the time, you might consider finding another woman.
P.S. This works with other situations in which your woman asks you questions that cannot possibly be answered positively. It even works on a feminist. Just ask my husband.
—Photo Cea./Flickr